Monday, April 02, 2007
I wished today never comes...
I wish today never come.
I won't get to see my Ah Ma in person, anymore. I won't get to lunch with her. I won't get to talk with her. I won't get to watch tv with her. I won't get to tease and joke with her. I won't get to do so many things with her. And i won't get to call Ah-Ma anymore.
Today was the last day of Grannys' wake. It was a heart wrenching moment. Ceromonial was done before heading to Mandai. During the 5 days of wake, always stayed till as late as possible. Thats the only last few days i get to see her. All the time i spent with her just flash back whenever i went in to see her. Even sat by her side with bob, my sisters n alvin. Burnt joss paper, constantly checking the joss stick to ensure its continuous burning. To prevent the stiffness in the air, bob even joked that Ah Gong must be angry with Granny for making him waited over 21yrs for her. And now they are finally reunited.
Granny is happy to be in another world. These are the signs from the old-tales i heard from.
It rained heavily aft Granny was laid into e coffin.
Joss sticks that were offered burnt in quick seconds.
After Granny was cremated, it rained heavily.
Once it was raining heavily and my aunt realised the seat for Granny was wet! Due to the leakage in the root of the multifunctional hall at the void deck. And quickly they wiped it and open the umbrella. Within minutes the rain stopped.
My bro suppose to be in taiwan but very last min we called for him to fly back. Even thou Granny knows he is in taiwan for training, but stil its a wiser choice to let him know and arrange for flight to fly him back and pay the very last respect to Granny.
Ytd screwed my eldest auntie, shit-tified big bicycle! makes me lose my cool and shouted at her. She told us to go over to her house and fetch her. Thou Dad was late for work, he stil went to fetch her. But we waited for 15mins she doesnt appear so at 9.40am Dad drove off. And she only called me at 10.01AM and screamed into my ears y aren't we there yet. Wadever i said on phone is useless. Until i saw her at Grannys' wake, she shouted to my mum and say she saw Dads' car drove off and quickly called us. who the hell she kidding mann. Fuck! shouted back to her.. we left at 9.40AM and she called at 10.01AM. it has difference of 21mins! no logic at all! she made me do at her infront of all uncles & Granny. She kept on nagging and nagging. mum doesn't want to argue with her. i shut her up by asking her.. "Aren't you here alrdy? say so much for wad!" i dislikes pple to shout at my mum. Ever since that incident, no uncles dare to step on my tail or order me or my family to do anything. usually no one dares to fight back to her, but its getting me on my nerves so tolerate such a person. bob talked to me while offering joss paper to Granny. I know her pattern is like that. But whats the point of respecting her when she doesn't even respect my mum at all. And serves her right for creating such a din by disturbing Granny. She fell infront of Grannys' altar tripping over a rope. Granny punished her! Granny kicked her to fall! Granny tripped her!
Tdy screwed e youngest uncle. he is totally unreasonable. those who wants to drive their car to the crematorium needs to tie red ribbon and get a pair of orange to leave it in car. so he asked me to tie it on those car who came. crazy! i told him those who wants to drive shud ask for it instead of asking each and everyone who is driving there. i am oso not in the mood for anything. and i am only grandchild, are those sons so useless to do sucha task? Makes me n bob damm angry. already feeling so mixed up inside me still come and trigger my temper! The feeling of losing Granny who looked aft me since young, one whom i always respect.
Since Granny is gone now. I guess all relatives won't get to meet unless there is 'red' or 'white' matter. The family is scattered.
Now only can go to the temple and pray her. But I still can't believe i am praying her. i feels so numb.
Missing you, my dearest Ah Ma.
♥ connie at 11:26 PM