Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Its the 7th day since Ah Ma passed away. So went over with mum and bro. usually when i reached there and i look into the hse, i wud see her sitting on her usual chair watchin tv if not she's resting in the rm. but tdy.. things were so different... looked into the hse i saw an empty chair.. walked into her room its empty.. its so empty. only my uncle n maid is home... not long aft i reached.. bob, sean n aunt came too.. whenever sean reached he wud greet Granny loudly at the doorstep. but tdy.. he walked into e rm and asked me "lao-ma where?" he knew Ah ma passed away but didn't know he won't get to see her in person anymore. i told him "lao-ma went to far away place. won't come back anymore.." bob told sean no more lao-ma to play cars with him too... sean jus kept quiet. mavis did ask me too.. and i really dunno how to explain to them... got to get use to such environment when i go over to ah ma hse again.
after that, went town to look for more office wear attire. didnt purchase any but tried on and consider before 'investing' on it. went over to pacific plaza.. drive there is inconvenient..it has horrible parking lots.. driveway is so mini.. big cars will have problems... while seiyu bugis has ample lots and spacious too. newbie drivers better not play afool with pacific plaza basement carpark.
its so difficult to laugh heartily and smile recently. everything jus went numb. can't imagine myself to keep the stern face while someone tells a joke and everyone is laughing head over heel. only with my family than i am able to do so. the sudden change is drastic.
alrite people, cherish everyone ard u, tell them hw much u love them and always spend quality time too. don't regret aft you lost them. u will never be able to forgive yourself.
i gt no regrets when ah ma left us. i always spend quality time with her since young. whenever she comes my hse, she wud slp only on my bed. she said she's more use to the position. wud massage her when she claimed she felt pain.. accompany her for morning walks.. lend her a helping hand and support her when she wants to stands up.. when i'm still a kid i accompanied her to market as early as 6.30am.. get groceries n breakfast.. always climb to her side n slp when it rained heavily at nite.. i always 'catch' the smokes tt she puff frm the cigarettes.. lots of things i done with her. lastly, i get to keep her company for the very last time, had a very last meal with her too. only mum and i did, no other cousins or aunties or uncles manage to. self-console myself n mum, we felt fortunate to accompany Ah ma on her last journey.
♥ connie at 11:39 PM