Monday, December 01, 2008

jus being random again...
its all abt him. he got me having deep thots for sometimes.. not much or no one knows who is him except a hand full?

well...past nite again another silly confession.. it gt me choking.. brain freezed.. heart stopped beatin for few sec.. its just so out of the blue... thou shud clarify but still nthing comes out from me.. i'm lousy at it when it comes to serious biz :( yet we can act as thou nthing when we r out... okay felt like there r lots of holes in the head.. missing part here n there.. which overall causing super serious problems.

have to admit he's nice... some lil things he does is really swt.. much to elaborate... initially i didnt care much w wadever i comment/feedback i said to him... after sometimes i realised wadever i say he takes it seriously!!! so it gt me rather careful w my words.. dun wan to cause any harm. once i casually said something he exclaimed NO! ok i was shocked by his reaction.. many times many ocassions.. he always say NO for many lousy reasons.
last mth.. almost every week we met aft work while he has to wait for at least an hr before i end work... it bcomes a habit tat kicks in.. even when i'm on leave.. it always falls on his rest day... so... many people tot that it was on purpose.. no point explaining too. it will jus get matter more complicated... tat is not healthy at all. yes yes i can say all these but i am unable to do anything to rectify it..

sometimes... my conversation has lots of hidden meaning i wonder if he gets it or not... i doubt he gets e msg across.. yet i doubt he cant be so silly straight. always felt like questioning on that... i tends to think alot lar.. so wadever kept numb i might guess it right too. sometimes i wonder if his remarks has hidden meaning too.... i dare not guess much on tt as i'll get much much doubtful than before.

i observe... but seldom expressive on surface yet beneath it is complicated. i don't want to hurt anyone neither i want to be hurt too.. yes afraid of making mistakes.. butter brain on these. it melts easily.. everything slips off when triggered wrongly... and also due to 1 reason... i'm uncertain abt it too. its a 360 Degree change to almost everything.
stay put? stay out? step in?

let nature takes its flow... its flowing too naturally.... too natural till it got me confused. wads more can i say...

Where are we heading to?

♥ connie at 10:37 PM